What is a Smear Campaign?

Introduction

Narcissists must always hold a trump card, an ace, an advantage.

Their self-esteem is critically low and fragile. They are incredibly insecure as people, despite outward appearances and behaviours which are no more than a self-created veneer of being a good citizen, caring and reliable.

In reality, they are the opposite: destructive, uncaring and totally flaky ... unless they benefit.

Narcissists often make themselves seem better by making others seem worse.

This sets the scene for how they really feel about those around them. We are pawns in their game of chess, pitiful objects to be used, abused and disposed of, at will. The cling-on to power and control and take every opportunity to appear superior and 'more special' than others.

Ironically, one of their main methods for achieving this is to make others seem worse, especially when they have a disagreement, a fall-out or are offended by someone (which is a regular occurrence in many cases).

How Narcissists React to Perceived Failure

A narcissist's security and, hence, life, revolves around what others think. Therefore, success is important, or at least, the appearance of success is important.

In order to maintain their superiority and 'specialness,' narcissists must always be ahead of the game and ahead of other people. People represent competition and there can only be one person in pole position.

Therefore, if a narcissist even catches a whiff of perceived failure, their self-esteem (ego) is challenged, even shattered and they head into a tailspin as they attempt to regain control of their life.

If a narcissist's very core is shaken or shattered by someone close taking a decision over which the narcissist has no control, the ultimate failure, the gates of Hades are unlocked and a legion of demons released against the transgressor.

In short, piss-off a narcissist and you will witness behaviour, that up to that point, was not thought possible by human beings!

Why Revenge is Important to Narcissists

Revenge is necessary because somebody must pay for upsetting the narcissist.

Since they cannot be wrong, somebody else must take the blame (blame cultures are prolific around narcissists of all types) and pay.

Revenge creates 'supply' for a narcissist. Supply is where the narcissist gains attention, adulation, status, significant or material evidence of their greatness. Like a child, it does not matter what type of attention they receive, good or bad, it is still attention that feeds their inner emptiness (void).

Revenge allows narcissists to show their superiority, their power, their control, their entitlement.

Revenge to a narcissist is like oil to an engine: it keeps them running.

What is a Smear Campaign?

A smear campaign has nothing to do with windows, glasses or gynaecologists.

The smear campaign is a conscious, calculated and cynical move by an abuser to discredit, demote and destroy the image of a person, in the eyes of others. The narcissist selects mutual friends, people in authority, anyone with influence and spins them a story that redirects attention towards the narcissist.

The specific subjects of smear campaigns will vary by person, situation, circumstances and stage in a disagreement or injury. It is quite normal for a narcissist to use several smear campaigns to discredit and destroy their target.

How a Smear Campaign Works

Some classic situations and subjects of smear campaigns by narcissists include:

• Their partner having an affair with 'someone else.' Names are usually given.
• A person unjustly receiving promotion instead of the narcissist. Meaty details and half-truth or outright lies enhance the story.
• Dirt to discredit someone who fairly and justly won a competition ahead of a narcissist.
• Information, especially here-say, about a competitor for a position (think of political campaigning).

The information does not have to be factual, or true, but must contain enough emotion to stir and provoke people to make a decision. Narcissists are highly skilled and compulsive liars. Even outrageous stories with no supporting evidence, but plenty of disproof, will fly and gain traction in the hands of the right narcissist. Subjects that switch on emotions before they switch on thinking are a great choice for effective smear campaigns.

The aim is to turn people against the target of the smear campaign and to isolate them. Once isolated, the victim loses a clear reference for normal, loses opportunity for support and help from people with whom they can share their experiences.

An isolated person is also a much ore vulnerable target for further abuse as nobody witnesses the attacks or sees the narcissist pinning their true colours to the mast.

The result of a smear campaign is to turn the abuser into the victim and make the victim appear to be the abuser.

An Example of a Smear Campaign

A friend of mine, caught-up in an abusive marriage for more than ten years, took the decision to separate from and divorce their partner.

The abusive partner's initial response was cool, measured, unruffled, even civil. They STRESSED the need for both partners to be civil, avoid making the other look bad and to co-operate during negotiations.

Needless to say, my friend was blindsided when friends started commenting (criticising) them for treating her partner so badly and having an affair whilst they were still married. At the same time, various leaders of a community to which both partners belonged, became involved. They implicated highly restrictive, punitive measures on my friend, regarding what they could and could not do. A course of action was also proscribed which required the two partners to sort out their differences and stay together. This was despite my friend having spoken to more than one of the leaders over the previous TEN years about problems in the marriage, abuse by their partner, failure of the abusive partner to take responsibility for what was happening with point-blank refusal to discuss the subject. Period.

As time passed and a few people within the community realised what was happening, my friend learnt that their partner had immediately approached the leaders with stories of an affair that had split the marriage. Apparently my friend had found somebody else, left the marital home and was now shacked-up with their new lover in a local city.

The true scenario was that my friend had told their abusive partner that they were leaving. The abuser had subsequently been seen around the local town, arm-in-arm with different new 'partners.' The victim of the abuse could not leave their marital home because the abusive partner had total control of their savings and finances (although that did not prevent the narcissist from demanding that their abused partner find somewhere else to live).

When my friend relayed this reality to the leaders (the other half of the story) the principal leader refused to consider any of the issues submitted by my friend. The narcissist had already swayed the judge and jury: my friend was guilty until proven innocent, with no chance of their side being considered.

It was a total 'stitch-up' and only a couple of weeks later, my friend was forced to resign from the community.

They had successfully been isolated. Now the real abuse could start in earnest. It lasted for more than four, intense years.

Conclusions

Smear campaigns are common, dangerous and highly destructive, invoked when narcissists have their control and superiority challenged by a partner making a decision for themselves, without prior consultation of their Master or Mistress.

Smear campaigns are used in ANY and EVERY situation where a narcissist stands to gain by the losses of others, especially their victim(s): individuals, groups of people, companies, communities and whole cultures.

You can learn more about smear campaigns and their impacts in Chapter 6, 'True Colours: The Narcissist's Mask Falls' of the book, 'Escaping The Void (How to Support Victims Out of Emotionally Abusive Relationships).'

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You will also find the following links helpful for understanding narcissism and its impacts on our lives.

SAFETY ONLINE

How to Protect Our Online Activity When Living in an Abusive Relationship

TERMS AND DESCRIPTIONS USED WHEN TALKING ABOUT NARCISSISM

Terminology and Definitions Used When Talking About Narcissism

IDENTIFYING NARCISSISTS

How to Identify The Different Types of Narcissist

How to Spot Narcissists and Narcissism

Quick Quiz: Find Out if You Are Affected by Narcissists or Narcissism

BUILDING YOUR SUPPORT TEAM

How to build an Effective Support System - Strategies for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse

DIVORCING A NARCISSIST

Divorcing a Narcissist - What You Should Know About the Legal System and the Courts