Different Types of Narcissist and How They Act

Narcissism in Us All

We all have narcissistic traits. They are how we get things and they help us to achieve goals. HOWEVER, we balance our narcissism with empathy, the ability to appreciate how others feel and we act accordingly. Narcissists and those with strong narcissistic traits lack empathy. This means that the feelings, needs or wants of others are irrelevant. Everything and everyone exists for the narcissist's benefit and to further their cause, wants, etc. This is what sets them apart and makes them so destructive in social or group settings.

The Lure and the Web

Narcissists can be magnetic, charming, great at creating a fantastical, flattering self-image that draws us in. Their apparent confidence and lofty dreams are highly attractive, especially if our own self-esteem is low. We become enraptured. Surely our longing to feel more important, more alive will, at last, come true.

BUT IT IS ALL FANTASY because our needs will neither be recognised nor fulfilled.

Narcissists are only looking for obedient admirers. Our sole value to a narcissist to prop up their ego. Like a void, a black hole, we are sucked in and the life is sucked out of us. In short, we don't count and once we are trapped in their web of lies, we are in BIG trouble.

The only thing a narcissist may be trusted to do is to cause chaos, confusion and despair. They create devastating effect on individuals, communities and cultures.

How they achieve this, the traits they display and behaviours they use, can be as different as chalk and cheese.

Many different 'types' or 'classes' of narcissist have been proposed and this is made more complicated by inconsistent terminology. Some titles are considered to be 'official', some are 'layman' and some depend upon who is using them.

This article will help you to understand the different labels we use to describe how narcissists behave.

Common Narcissistic Traits

Narcissism is NOT an 'all or nothing', 'binary' subject. Rather than two extreme groups, narcissism exists on a range, or spectrum. It contains subtlety and it contains variety because very narcissist is an individual.

Although narcissists behave in different ways, some traits are common across the different narcissistic types. However, NOT all narcissists express all of the traits, all of the time and some may express different traits at different times.

A helpful acronym for remembering these is 'SPECIALME.'

SPECIAL ME 

1. Sense of self-importance
2. Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success 
3. Entitled
4. Can only be around people who are important or special
5. Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain
6. Arrogant
7. Lack empathy
8. Must be admired
9. Envious of others or believe that others are envious of them

How these traits are demonstrated by individuals leads to the classification or typing of narcissism.

Types of Narcissism

The three most commonly described types of narcissism (and therefore, narcissist) are Overt, Covert and formally diagnosed (Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD).

Overt Narcissism

(Also called Grandiose, Extrovert, Exhibitionist, Agentic)

This is the 'typical' presentation or image for most people who are asked to describe a narcissist. They are 'the person who you cannot miss because they are:

• outgoing,
• arrogant,
• entitled,
• overbearing,
• exploitative,
• competitive,
• lacking in empathy.

Individuals with overt narcissism have an exaggerated self-image, a strong need to be praised and admired and usually overestimate their own abilities and intelligence. They are more likely to feel good about themselves and less likely to experience uncomfortable emotions like sadness, worry, or loneliness. Overt narcissists may also overestimate their own empathy and understanding of others.

Covert Narcissism

(Also called Vulnerable, Sensitive, Closet, Secretive)

Covert narcissism is the opposite of overt narcissism. They do not fit the image of loud, proud and brash. Instead, they demonstrate:

• defensiveness,
• insecurity or low confidence,
• introversion,
• low self-esteem,
• higher anxiety, depression and shame,
• avoidance,
• a tendency to feel or play the victim.

They are still self-focused but this usually conflicts with a deep fear or sense of not being enough. Indeed, the disorder may be strongly linked to being highly neurotic and, frankly, unpleasant.

Covert narcissists do not like criticism! Rather than expressing this dislike (which an overt narcissist would do), they tend to internalise it, dwell on it and feel it more harshly than was intended. At times of stress, the covert narcissist may be triggered into 'unexpected' or surprise rage as these suppressed feelings are suddenly released, without control.

It is important to remember that narcissism does NOT exist on an 'either/or' scale. Many so-called 'types' will, on occasions, display 'non-typical' behaviours. For example, an overt narcissist may display signs of covert narcissism.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

(Also called NPD)

Mental health professionals generally use the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) to diagnose NPD and other mental health conditions.

There is no single test for identifying narcissistic personality. Instead, nine key narcissistic traits are considered (these are the 'SPECIALME' criteria we mentioned above):

• exaggerated feelings of superiority and self-importance,
• regular fantasies about personal power, intelligence, success, or attractiveness,
• a firm belief in personal specialness,
• a strong need for attention, praise, and admiration from other people,
• entitled behaviour, such as a desire for special treatment,
• a habit of using manipulation tactics,
• low empathy or disinterest in the emotional needs of others,
• a tendency to envy others or assume others envy them,
• arrogance and scorn for others.

At least 5 of these must be present in order to formally diagnose NPD. Mental health professionals will also try to determine:

• whether these traits appear in different contexts,
• when they first appeared,
• how they affect daily life and relationships.

If narcissistic traits only appear at certain times or in specific situations, or if there are fewer than five present, a mental health professional might not diagnose NPD.

As we have seen, different terms may be used to describe the same type of narcissist, for example, covert and sensitive. These inconsistencies make understanding difficult for those wishing to discover more.

There are also a number of different types of narcissist described which try to group together behaviours so that we understand how and where they operate. Once again, these are not universally used but the following will help you understand the main ones if you come across them during your reading and research.

Communal Narcissism

Communal narcissism comes under the banner of overt narcissism. Individuals have an inflated perception of themselves within a bigger setting than just their immediate environment. Communal narcissists usually operate in social or community situations that focus on charitable or benevolent work, or they may just show up as people trying very hard to appear as good and caring friends or coworkers.

Communal narcissists claim to value fairness and describe themselves as altruistic. However, what they profess and how they act are very different.

Communal narcissists typically:

• become easily morally outraged,
• describe themselves as empathetic and generous,
• react strongly to things they see as unfair.

They may be working for the right causes and concerns, communal narcissists only really care about their image, social power and self-importance: they are the priority, not the cause for which they are working. A communal narcissist may profess a strong moral code or care for others, but do not realise that their treatment of others does not reflect these beliefs.

Antagonistic Narcissism

Possibly another subtype of overt narcissism, antagonistic narcissists focus on rivalry and competition.

They are typically manipulative and aggressive, using and exploiting others to get what they want. They need to be the centre of attention. Antagonistic narcissists can be highly destructive to themselves and to those around them, engaging in emotional and physical abuse. Their use of power and position/status makes life difficult for people around them. They can also derive satisfaction from watching others suffer.

These characters may:

• be arrogant,
• continually take advantage of others,
• compete with others (rather than working with them),
• be disagreeable or prone to arguing.

Antagonistic narcissists are less likely to forgive others than people with other types of narcissism. They also trust others less.

Malignant Narcissism

(Also called Toxic, Sadistic)

This is considered to be the most extreme type of narcissism and can cause significant problems for the person living with it. Malignant narcissism is more closely linked to overt than covert narcissism.

A malignant narcissist may have many common traits of narcissism, such as:

• inflated sense of talent, achievement, and self-importance
• fantasies about sex, power, intelligence, or beauty without limit
• excessive need for attention and admiration
• lack of emotion or extreme, negative emotions when faced with negative feedback or indifference
• interpersonal problems

However, their narcissism combines with traits of antisocial personality disorder including:

• inability to feel guilt, remorse and empathy,
• lack of concern for the well-being of others,
• recklessness, irresponsibility, and impulsivity,
• exploitation, aggression and deceit,
• behaviours that violate the law and the rights of others.

The result is people who are:

• highly vindictive,
• sadists, or getting enjoyment from the pain of others,
• aggressive when interacting with other people,
• paranoid or are highly anxious about potential threats (without proof).

In addition to significant social problems, malignant narcissists are likely to experience increased legal trouble or substance abuse.

Do Only Those with a Formal NPD Diagnosis Cause Problems?

No! As you will have gathered from our discussions, somebody without a formal diagnosis of NPD but with strong narcissistic traits and a lack of empathy, are equally likely to cause disruption, discord and despair. Narcissists lack the ability to self-reflect. They need to be perfect. They ARE perfect. Therefore, a narcissist has no need to attend for any psychological evaluation. That is for everyone else. Consequently, the number of formally diagnosed narcissist rests at around 1 - 2% of the population (US, EU, UK, AUS). In reality, numbers are much higher, probably around 5 - 7% and in some sub-groups, such as the military and medical schools, it can reach 1 in 5 (20%).

All people with strong narcissistic traits and behaviours cause problems; for themselves and for others.

What Does This Mean for You?

We may see or identify different types of narcissists based upon key traits and behaviours, but narcissism is variable and nuanced. We see extroverted, introverted, antisocial, antagonistic, community-focused behaviours, or combinations of these, in people labelled as 'narcissists.'

Understanding how narcissists act is important for understanding our situation and how we feel. It is also important for identifying root causes of our unhappiness and therefore, the next steps we need to take to protect ourselves.

The important take-away message is that no matter what type of narcissist we are dealing with, the effects are universally and ultimately, toxic.

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You will also find the following links helpful for understanding narcissism and its impacts on our lives.

SAFETY ONLINE

How to Protect Our Online Activity When Living in an Abusive Relationship

TERMS AND DESCRIPTIONS USED WHEN TALKING ABOUT NARCISSISM

Terminology and Definitions Used When Talking About Narcissism

IDENTIFYING NARCISSISTS

How to Spot Narcissists and Narcissism

Quick Quiz: Find Out if You Are Affected by Narcissists or Narcissism

BUILDING YOUR SUPPORT TEAM

How to build an Effective Support System - Strategies for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse

DIVORCING A NARCISSIST

Divorcing a Narcissist - What You Should Know About the Legal System and the Courts