The Tunnel: Journey with a Narcissist

I'd like you to picture yourself on holiday in the Swiss alps: relaxed, enjoying the amazing views. You are so relaxed that you lose all sense of time, arriving at the station just as your train is leaving! The platform is empty, except for a workman; at least you assume it is a workman by the reflective jacket he’s wearing. You ask him when the next train is.

“That was the last one today but don’t worry, I know my way around here. I will show you a shortcut to the next station, which is where you want to go, correct?”

You are relieved to find someone who is interested in your problem AND willing to help. You never think to ask yourself how he knew where you are heading.

“Okay, follow me!” he says, confidently. He passes you a reflective jacket and steps onto the tracks, telling you to do likewise.

“Isn’t it dangerous?” you ask, concerned. “Don’t worry. No more trains due today.”

Relieved, you follow him along the tracks towards the mouth of a tunnel which passes through the mountain and was clearly visible from the station.

“I know this line like the back of my hand. You’re safe with me!”

Entering the tunnel, you continue to walk, drawn in by the blackness and slowly deserted by the light at the entrance.

"When I was a young boy, my brothers were always mean to me, running away and leaving me to find my own way home. I had to learn on my own and quickly! I’m the best person to help you because this is a shortcut I often used.”

His voice reassures you, even though he is invisible in the total darkness that prevents you from seeing in front, behind or to either side. You are disorientated.

After what seems like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, you feel alone. You remember your new friend’s promise to take you to the next station, so you ignore the butterflies in your stomach. But when you next stop, only eerie echoes run off ahead and call from behind, followed by silence! You call out but the only reply is your echo. Then silence.

You ARE alone.

Why hadn’t he used a torch? Why hadn’t he said anything about turning back?

You had felt so safe, secure, protected.

Should you now turn back to look for him? If he had fallen, you would have heard it, surely?

Summoning all of your courage, you decide that you must continue towards your destination. So you keep walking, stumbling over unknown obstacles. Somewhere nearby, water falls into a deep hole. Is it covered? Is it safe? You press on regardless.

You see a faint light. The end of the tunnel! Safety and home! After the next bend, you are looking out through the tunnel entrance at a short bridge, which gleams in the daylight.

Then, ANOTHER tunnel!

You were not told about this important detail. In fact, you were not told anything about the journey, only that your now ex-guide knew how to reach your station!

You are jolted from your thoughts by a noise. A train! Approaching! You cannot tell from which direction but it sounds to be travelling fast! There is a small recess in the wall to your left, presumably for railway workers. Panicked, you press yourself into the tiny space. A few seconds later, a train bursts from the other tunnel, into yours and rushes past, clawing at your clothes and hair as it races on its journey.

Then the eerie echoes again.

Then silence.

How long have you been walking? It seems like hours.

Listening into the silence for clues of another train, you hear nothing, so continue your journey, across the bridge, over a perilously deep gorge and into the next tunnel. Once more you are totally enveloped in darkness. Your senses are on high alert: a drip of water sounds like an ocean crashing against rocks.

How much more of this hell must you endure?

Is that a light you see in the distance? There is a clanking and scraping sound. Is it a shovel? Workmen!

You shout out.

A torchlight shines towards you, temporarily blinding you as it flashes across your eyes.

“Wait there!” shouts a voice. Crunching footsteps become louder. A workman appears at your side.

“What are you doing in here?” he asks.

You tell your story: the missed last train; the helpful workman; the shortcut; the desertion.

“That wasn’t the last train of the day. There are another three and the next one will pass here in about thirty minutes!”

“Follow me,” he says, in a kind but concerned voice.

“It’s about another kilometre to your station. Watch out for the boxes between the tracks and the cables that run from them. They are a real hazard in the dark. We have plenty of time, but if I am at all concerned, I will direct you to the safety of a cutout in the tunnel wall.”

You mention that you were lucky to find one of those at the end of the previous tunnel just before the train came past.

“That was the express to Zurich. You were lucky to find shelter.”

Time flies by and you eventually reach the end of the second tunnel. As your eyes adjust once more to the light, you see your station only a few hundred yards away. Escorted by your new guide, you walk onto the platform. A horn blast from the tunnel behind you signals arrival of the next train which grinds, hissing and squealing, to a halt on the platform, next to you.

“You realise that you were trespassing on railway property don’t you?”

It had never occurred to you! Your ‘knight in shining armour’ had dispelled all doubts and fears.

“It must be reported to the railway but I don’t think they will take any action. Please follow me and we will get started.”

You have escaped the darkness of the tunnels, but are you safe?

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You will also find the following links helpful for understanding narcissism and its impacts on our lives.

SAFETY ONLINE

How to Protect Our Online Activity When Living in an Abusive Relationship

TERMS AND DESCRIPTIONS USED WHEN TALKING ABOUT NARCISSISM

Terminology and Definitions Used When Talking About Narcissism

IDENTIFYING NARCISSISTS

How to Identify The Different Types of Narcissist