Important Information About Protecting Your Online Activity in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
Remember that your abuser (especially if they are the secretive or covert type) is probably paranoid. They NEED to know everything about where you are going, what you are doing, with whom you are speaking, etc.
They will stop at NOTHING to find out. Do not be surprised if they go through your paperwork, look at your 'phone or tablet or PC for 'evidence' that they are not the centre of your life. They may even install spying software on your devices!
Rest assured, if they discover anything that could remotely suggest you are talking to others first, you are likely to be the focus of more intense scrutiny and abuse.
THEREFORE, when you search online for anything, even simple, personal stuff or friendships, but ESPECIALLY about abuse, it is important to use an ANONYMOUS browsing mode, such as:
- Google Chrome: Incognito mode
- Safari: Private Window
- Firefox: Private Window
- Opera: Private Window
- Microsoft Edge: InPrivate Window
- Bing: Private Mode
If your browser is not mentioned above, it will almost certainly have some type of private browsing mode as standard: it is just a question of finding it!
Using this mode prevents the storage of 'cookies' on your device & when you close the browser, they leave no easily accessible search history (so, it is always useful to write down helpful sites etc in a diary or notebook that stays with you at all times).
If you visit an abuse-advice site, like Women’s Aid, you will often see a 'LEAVE' or 'QUICK EXIT' button (or similar). PLEASE NOTE: these will either close your browser or take you to a 'neutral' page like Google. HOWEVER, unless you are using an anonymous mode as, described above, your search is still easily discoverable in search history.
A narcissist will leave NO stone unturned in order to abuse you. Therefore, we must use the same diligence to protect our safety & sanity.
Important Tips:
Protecting Your Online History (Digital Footprint)
It is vital to know how to cover your digital footprints.
- If you're using a laptop, switching to incognito mode can be a quick fix. But on tablets or smartphones, erasing your history isn't instant - it could take a good 10 seconds, which can feel much longer if you're under stress.
It is all about being prepared.
- Take some time to get familiar with the privacy settings and how to manage them. Practice makes perfect and being able to navigate these steps quickly and confidently can make all the difference.
There is no harm in asking for help.
- If you're unsure, consider asking someone you fully trust who knows the internet and browsing, such as an IT expert. You don't have to spill the beans on why you're asking. You can use any excuse that feels comfortable.
While incognito modes and clearing browser history can help to hide your online activity, they are not foolproof. Some network monitoring tools can still capture where you have been and when.
This understanding is crucial so that you do not develop a false sense of security.
Time spent learning and practising is never wasted.